tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22218904717546498162024-03-13T20:01:39.546-07:00Drexel Gilbert ~ Words to Live ByA blog about relationships, career, and faith. A blog about life.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger156125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-15769796844493332252019-11-11T13:54:00.000-08:002019-11-12T05:44:26.291-08:0030 Days of Thanksgiving-Being Thankful Isn't Always Easy<br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tkRQ6Hr6ino/XcnXmz1tY7I/AAAAAAAAEF8/ALi5zSdXlWAmXf55iN7ClogvtpgdCiIPACLcBGAsYHQ/s1600/Not%2BThankful%2BFor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1356" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-tkRQ6Hr6ino/XcnXmz1tY7I/AAAAAAAAEF8/ALi5zSdXlWAmXf55iN7ClogvtpgdCiIPACLcBGAsYHQ/s320/Not%2BThankful%2BFor.jpg" width="271" /></a><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> This month, I'm blogging about Thanksgiving. Not just about the holiday, but about developing a lifestyle of thanksgiving which can radically change your life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Several years ago, I wrote a bible study called "30 Days of Thanks." What I determined during my research is that "thanksgiving" boils down to four things:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> 1- Thanksgiving is an act of gratitude</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> 2- Thanksgiving is an act of sacrifice</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> 3- Thanksgiving is a call to relationship</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> 4- Thanksgiving is a call to action</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> In the last blog, I wrote about gratitude as a lifestyle. Read it <a href="https://drexelgilbert.blogspot.com/2019/11/30-days-of-thanks-its-more-than-mere.html" target="_blank">here</a>. Thanksgiving is also an act of sacrifice. Ouch. Sacrifice? Like... give something up?: Like... put someone or something else ahead of my own interests? Like...not always being #1? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Yeah. Like that.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> In the Old Testament, "sacrifice" had a literal meaning. It typically meant a physical sacrifice of food or animals. When Christ came on the scene, the meaning of sacrifice began to change. The apostle Paul tells us that sacrifice is no longer mostly about the act. It's more about the heart because what's in our heart will determine the way we act. (Funny how that works, huh?)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Thanksgiving is sacrifice because it is not always easy. Sometimes we just don't feel like being thankful. We can't see the good in what is happening in our own life, in the lives of our family or friends, or in the world. We see innocent people murdered, lives cut short by disease, and relationships splintered by hurtful actions. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">We are sad, hurting, angry or confused. </span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">We just don't feel like saying 'thank you."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> So, why do it? Lots of reasons. First, giving thanks takes the focus off what is troubling us and puts it on something, or someone, positive. It keeps us from being paralyzed by fear, anger, or grief. It keeps us from rash actions that may be driven by our fear, anger or grief. Sacrificial thanks may not change our situation but it may change us. And if we are changed, we may view our situation differently and be more open to finding solutions to problems or challenges.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Hear me on this: giving thanks in difficult times doesn't mean we ignore what is troubling us. It means we find one good thing or person in the situation and give thanks in the midst of the trouble. It doesn't mean we ignore the evil in the world- whether it's our own little world or the world at large. It means we give thanks that we have the heart to recognize the evil and the motivation to change the situation. It doesn't mean that our heart doesn't hurt. It means we open our hurting heart to the people or opportunities that can bring healing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Sometimes, we have to ask God to show us what we can be thankful for. And when he does... and when we are... there's one last step. We look for sacrificial ways to "do good." In the book of Hebrews, we are told to "do good and share with others for <i><b>with such sacrifices</b></i>, God is pleased."(Hebrews 13:16 emphasis mine)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> In my last blog post, I asked you to take inventory of your life and write down what you are truly thankful for in your life. People, community, church, health, possessions, forgiveness, grace... etc.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Now, I want you to list at least two things that you find it difficult, if not impossible, to be thankful for. Then, I want you to think about those things, meditate on them, then write down one or two ways you can still give thanks. Sacrificial thanks. From your heart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"> Don't feel like giving thanks? For just this one month, do it anyway. Then, do good. See if it makes a difference in you life. I believe it will. And, I'd love to hear from you about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Next Blog: Thanksgiving is a call to relationship</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-80436920636364347702019-11-01T15:27:00.000-07:002019-11-01T15:27:15.382-07:0030 Days of Thanks: It's More Than Mere Words (Day 1)<br />
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">“30
Days of Thanks.” It’s a thing. For the past several years, people have used the
entire month of November, not just Thanksgiving Day, as an opportunity to
reflect on what they are thankful for in their lives. They post about it on
Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. They write about the people, things, and
opportunities for which they give thanks. That’s a good thing. And, I’ve read
that if we do something consistently for 30 days, it becomes a habit. That makes
“30 Days of Thanks” an even better thing.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve been encouraging a journey of 30 Days
of Thanks since before it was “a thing.” In 2009, I wrote a bible study on the
importance of a thankful lifestyle. Here’s what I learned: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanksgiving
is an act of gratitude.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanksgiving
is an act of sacrifice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanksgiving
is a call relationship<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thanksgiving
is a call to action<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did you notice that in each of those
statements, “thanksgiving” is a noun that requires an action? How about that?
Thanksgiving is something we “do” and as such, becomes part of who we are. Thanksgiving
is largely about the attitude of the heart. Why is that so important? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The practice of giving thanks is established
in both the Old and New Testaments. The <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">act of gratitude</i></b>, giving thanks first
and foremost to God, was a crucial part of not only worship but also of lifestyle
because, “Every good and perfect gift is from above…” (James 1:17.) <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanksgiving is also an <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">act
of gratitude</i></b> toward others. When someone shows you a kindness, feel
grateful instead of entitled. When someone offers to open the door, pick up the
tab, or pay you a compliment, accept their courtesy and then tell them how much
you appreciate them. Your appreciation will be a boost to their spirit, and to
yours! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; text-indent: 0.5in;"> The act of gratitude is important because it takes the focus off "self" and puts it on God and on the people who make our life worth living. It reminds us that we are part of something bigger than our own ego. It reminds us that our life is full not only because of our own efforts but because of answers to prayer and acts of love from other people. It prevents us from becoming arrogant and thinking we've gotten to where we are without any help... from "above" and from others. It keeps our heart soft instead allowing it to become hard. It reminds us of just how much we need God and others in our lives. This attitude of gratitude will spill over to others. Have you ever known someone who was just-so-joyful because they were just-so-thankful not just in the moment, but every day? This is the person who has allowed gratitude to become an attitude!</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can we show our gratitude to God? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Talk to him (prayer)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Read his “letters” to you (bible study)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pay it forward (use what he gives to us to bless
others)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world
(service)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Follow the example of Jesus (be kind, giving,
forgiving, moral, instructive)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How can we show our gratitude to others?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Talk with them (spend time <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">talking</i></b>, not just texting
or emailing)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Write a letter of thanks or appreciation to them<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3.<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Pay it forward (do something nice for no reason
at all</span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"> - </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">Follow the example of Jesus (be kind, giving,
forgiving, moral, instructive)</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> One of the first ways we can begin to cultivate a mindset of gratitude, or thankfulness, is to take inventory of our lives. Despite the hassles and heartbreaks our life may be sprinkled with, when we take inventory we are often surprised to see just how much we have to be truly thankful for... the people in our life, our health, our possessions, our community.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> I challenge you to take that inventory today. Write a list of what you have to be most thankful for. Take your list and put it somewhere you will see it every morning. Put it by the coffeemaker, your toothbrush, your bathroom mirror. Read the list every morning and find one way, j</span><b style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>ust one way for that one day, </i></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">to demonstrate your gratitude to God for the goodness He has shown you, recalling that every good and perfect gift has come from Him. These may be outright gifts or opportunities He puts in our path, or people, or wisdom and strength to do what we have to do. Find one way,</span><b style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i> just one way for that one day</i></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">, to demonstrate your gratitude to others for the blessings they bring into your life. Give thanks for them and give thanks TO them!</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> In my Sunday School class, we would write our "thanksgivings" on colored strips of construction paper, then loop the strips, staple them and attach the loops. At the end of November, we had a chain... tangible evidence of all the goodness in our lives. My husband and I are going to do that this month. Why don't you do the same? Take pictures of your "chain of thanks" as it grows day by day. Your heart will be full. I'd love to hear from you about that.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> Next blog: <i><b>Thanksgiving is an act of sacrifice.</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman",serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><b style="font-style: italic;"> </b>PS- I'm thankful for you and that you took the time to read this. God bless you and yours during this Thanksgiving month.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-15835110885901751952019-02-12T14:11:00.000-08:002019-02-12T15:42:36.600-08:00The Love Month<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-swvgdSTKoAk/XGIwm-uvcbI/AAAAAAAADoU/fubvoAjzoeE0Az25z7nvjrcsoQpeh8KDwCLcBGAs/s1600/heart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="195" data-original-width="259" height="150" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-swvgdSTKoAk/XGIwm-uvcbI/AAAAAAAADoU/fubvoAjzoeE0Az25z7nvjrcsoQpeh8KDwCLcBGAs/s200/heart.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It’s the "Love Month." You know, the month when Cupid takes aim, couples swoon, Hallmark gives itself a high five and romance fills the air. For a day. And a night. Then what?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Don’t get me wrong. Romance on Valentine’s Day is great! But romance for life… that’s beyond wonderful. How do you make it happen? Between juggling the kids, the boss, the bills, the chores… who has time for romance? And, what’s the big deal anyway?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Trust me, it’s a big deal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I wrote a little book a few years ago called “30 Days To Better Love.” It was written for men, but the advice also applies to women and couples everywhere. The point is that we need to take care of our romantic relationships.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Remember when you first met the love of your life? You couldn’t wait to see them, hold their hand, put your arms around them. You’d race through the day just to race through the door to grab them in a hug and plant a big, fat, juicy kiss right on their lips. When’s the last time you did that? Have your hellos and goodbyes gone from hot and bothered to cool and distracted?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Perhaps this year’s Valentine’s Day can be more than a Hallmark holiday. Perhaps it can be a catalyst to pump real and lasting romance into our relationships. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here are 3 quick tips from my book to get you started:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Number 1: Kiss ‘Em Like You Mean It. Do you remember your very first kiss? Heart racing, knees jelly, hands sweaty. It was scary and shaky and sexy. It was wonderful. But as time goes on, those melt in your mouth kisses can morph into a peck on the lips or even the cheek. Stop that. FULL ON KISS YOUR PARTNER. Do it often. When you wake up, when you go to bed, when you leave the room, when you enter the room, when you’re on the couch, or in the kitchen, or doing yard work. Kiss them like you did when you were first dating. Kiss them slowly. Kiss them deliberately. Kiss them often. Kiss them passionately. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kiss them now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zhg3QpJUQWs/XGIwFo6prEI/AAAAAAAADoM/rp7kGhOJbxId4YR7jqL8puIihk6ZRXt4gCLcBGAs/s1600/hands.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1044" data-original-width="1600" height="130" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zhg3QpJUQWs/XGIwFo6prEI/AAAAAAAADoM/rp7kGhOJbxId4YR7jqL8puIihk6ZRXt4gCLcBGAs/s200/hands.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Number 2: Hold Their Hand. Holding hands is one of the earliest forms of intimacy. But, somewhere along the way, the art of hand-holding becomes lost. Our hands become filled with briefcases, diaper bags, grocery bags, babies, or books. But when you slowly lace your fingers with your loved one’s, you communicate so much without saying a word. You tell them how much you love being with them, how proud you are of them, how much you like being “that close” to them. Reach out and touch. It’s more than a song. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Number 3: Say “I Love You.” What? They know I love ‘em," you think to yourself. So? You ever watch a quarterback who’s blocked from throwing a pass, scrambles, and runs into the end zone for the touchdown? He knows everybody loves him. But watch him. He runs the sidelines, looking for the hugs, smiles and fanny slaps that are football language for “I love ya, man.” He looks for his girl so she can blow him a kiss and say “I love you.” Yes, they know you love them. They still want to hear you say it. Often. Unexpectedly. For no reason at all. I. Love. You. Three little words that will give them a reason to read your lips. They’ll probably kiss them, too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ysb6H0RN0dA/XGI4aRcu6kI/AAAAAAAADow/PBKR7gcinjwTPTIFNS8BU_tCDQRXIgTNwCLcBGAs/s1600/FINALFINALFINALCOVER.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1183" data-original-width="1600" height="147" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Ysb6H0RN0dA/XGI4aRcu6kI/AAAAAAAADow/PBKR7gcinjwTPTIFNS8BU_tCDQRXIgTNwCLcBGAs/s200/FINALFINALFINALCOVER.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So, there you go. I dare you to try these three simple steps, consistently, for at least a week, better yet, for the entire “love month.” I bet you’ll notice the temperature’s rising in your relationship. And when it comes to love, “heat” is not a bad thing.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> For 27 more tips, on spicing up your romantic life, check out Drexel’s book “30 Days to Better Love” at </span><a href="http://www.drexelgilbert.com/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.drexelgilbert.com</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Also available at Amazon.com.</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-85963685629840277562019-01-01T06:17:00.000-08:002019-01-01T06:17:35.558-08:002019: Year of No?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Shonda Rhimes, the producer of mega-hits <i>Grey’s Anatomy</i> and <i>Scandal</i>, wrote a best seller a few years ago, entitled <i>Year of Yes</i>. It’s a great book about the benefits of recognizing and accepting opportunities and of saying “yes” to people and moments that cross our paths. That’s a wonderful philosophy that can lead to personal growth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But I’ve decided that for me, 2019 is the “Year of NO.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do not mean this in a negative way but in the most positive way possible. In 2018, I said “yes” so often, it stretched me so tightly I thought I would snap and break into a million pieces… even when I looked like I had it all together. Last New Year’s Day, I decided to live 2018 the fullest. I vowed to do, read, experience, and/or eat something new every day of the year. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It wore me out. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I found that in “saying yes,” to every career, academic, social, family, and even spiritual opportunity and invitation that came my way, I was doing a lot. But I was not getting a lot done. And I wasn’t doing any of it very well.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, this year, I’ve decided to say “no” more often. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It will be hard. I am an adventuress. A doer. A “carpe diem” gal. I live for the experience and the moments. I love to go, see, and do! I love a challenge. My favorite saying is “Who says you can’t?” Saying “no” will be hard. And, I’m not saying there won’t be plenty of wonderful people and opportunities and invitations that I will say “yes” to in 2019. But this year, I will be more discerning about those “yes” answers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've learned I’m not alone in this weariness of saying yes. A recent report on CBS News talked about “JOMO.” That’s the “Joy Of Missing Out.” Apparently, a lot of us long to de-tech, destress and even detach. It seems many of us want to simplify our lives, instead of cramming so much stuff into every single minute. We want to stop filling up our moments, and simply enjoy them. We want to put down the laptop, ipad, and cellphone and actually talk to each other, explore our feelings... and breathe. We want to live and love the people we know and the things that we do. We want to focus on a few meaningful activities, instead of scattering ourselves on many wearying things. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">JOMO. Rhymes with NO.NO.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, how do we get back to strolling, instead of racing, through life? Perhaps in 2019, we should ask these questions when presented with an opportunity or invitation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this feed or drain my spirit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this feed or drain my relationships?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this feed or drain my health?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this feed or drain my career?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this feed or drain my mind?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will this move me forward or distract me from doing what’s really important?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most importantly, will this make me better… for God, for others, and for myself? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we can’t answer “yes” to each of those questions, we might consider saying “no.” That’s what I’ll be doing in 2019. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">Happy "No" Year!</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-85617671199148204822018-06-08T19:01:00.003-07:002018-06-11T04:04:28.665-07:00Puppy Dog Kisses & Rainbow Bridges-Saying Goodbye to Buddy<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g371JOsFR70/WxsntKjhLKI/AAAAAAAADZU/S_ZU1DYpsMs8syUBvZlc1l8ai9Er3U0jQCLcBGAs/s1600/buddy%2Band%2Bdrexek.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="240" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g371JOsFR70/WxsntKjhLKI/AAAAAAAADZU/S_ZU1DYpsMs8syUBvZlc1l8ai9Er3U0jQCLcBGAs/s320/buddy%2Band%2Bdrexek.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've been off the grid for awhile. That's what happens sometimes when you have a loss. I've had one. And, it's kinda' rocked my world. If you have a pet, you know that </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">life is made so much better because of that fur baby! My sweet little dog Buddy made my life better in so many ways. From the moment he put his tiny paws on my chest and looked straight into my eyes as an 8-week old puppy, to the last moment I saw him when he put his still-tiny paws on my chest and looked up at me as an 11-year-old "senior," we were almost two hearts beating as one.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Buddy was my shadow. He followed me everywhere. He sat </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">on a blanket in my office. He sat in a "doggy bag" when I sneaked him into university classes. He sat in front of the living room window watching for my return when I ran errands. He pretended to be a stuffed animal in the buggy when I sneaked him into Target.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He took naps with me on the couch. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He sat on my lap during road trips. </span><br />
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VnXGcin1aFE/WxsortofqmI/AAAAAAAADZ0/82LfioQdAR4Qh2Fla1rumVLA9TBGcXYJACEwYBhgL/s1600/10991533_10204716202237417_2420350387446020371_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="150" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-VnXGcin1aFE/WxsortofqmI/AAAAAAAADZ0/82LfioQdAR4Qh2Fla1rumVLA9TBGcXYJACEwYBhgL/s200/10991533_10204716202237417_2420350387446020371_o.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He knew the teller at the bank drive-through has treats. He knew Starbucks serves "puppucinos." </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He slept on my pillow. Okay. It was his pillow that he let me share. He licked the tears off my face when I was sad. He licked my nose when he was happy! He snuggled up to his "sisters" (my daughters) because he loved them unconditionally! He snuggled up to people who were hurting because he loved with abandon. He was what my daughters and I called a "comfort dog." He was our "buddy."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, then...sweet little Buddy was no more. Just like that. In the blink of an eye, a terrible accident took his life while I was out of town. He was in the care of people who also loved him. Accidents happen. You can't wish them away. You can't pray them away. You can't cry them away. You can't scream them away. You try. You really try. But you can't. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, so, here I am. 3 weeks later. Still waiting for his paws to skitter across the hardwood floor as he races toward me to say "Hey, Mom! Where've you been?</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">" Still waiting for him to dash up the doggy stairs by the bed and onto "my" pillow. Still waiting for him to wake me up at 5 a.m. for breakfast and a walk. Still waiting for him to dig a toy from his basket and drop it at my feet. Still waiting for him to crawl up on my lap, put his</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> paws on my chest, and turn those big brown eyes up to stare at me in absolute pure puppy love. Still waiting.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: center;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: center;">Below is the last video I have of sweet little Buddy. I'd taken him to work with me the day before I left to go out of town. We were headed home after a long day. He was excited to "go for a ride in the car!" I hope he's this happy where he is now. Rest in Peace, sweet little Buddy! I love you and I'll see you again! </span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-35658370217982735012018-05-20T11:26:00.000-07:002018-05-20T11:28:27.283-07:00Graduating to the Future-Let's Help Them Learn to "Walk" <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's graduation season. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The "walk" that began with a toddler's first steps all those years ago is about to become a full-on gallop into the future. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember when I walked across my high school graduation stage. I had a mixture of relief, exuberance, and sheer fear! </span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-68AfOXLrlFc/WwGczhBAM_I/AAAAAAAADYc/SusX4vLx8N4BUJaQdVm_H-SdqYPXyxFvgCEwYBhgL/s1600/unnamed%2B%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-68AfOXLrlFc/WwGczhBAM_I/AAAAAAAADYc/SusX4vLx8N4BUJaQdVm_H-SdqYPXyxFvgCEwYBhgL/s200/unnamed%2B%25281%2529.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I remember when my daughters walked across that stage. I had a mixture of relief, exuberance, and sheer fear! I bet you can relate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Graduation is more than a rite of passage. It is more than a celebration of accomplishments in the past. It is a gateway to what is ahead. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some graduating students are headed to the next level of higher education. Some are headed to the workforce. Some are headed to the armed forces. Some don't know where they are headed. All of them are looking into that scary thing called the "future." Will it be fun? Will it be hard? Will it hurt? Yes, yes, and yes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As parents, grandparents, friends, and co-workers of these graduates, we have a responsibility. We are charged with helping them find their way, helping them define their goals and dreams, and with guiding them in the best ways of achieving those goals and dreams. How do we do that?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here are three suggestions.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Listen to them. </u></b>The graduate in your life is happy. Happy to be OUT OF SCHOOL. Happy to be FREE. (Yeah, I know. They'll get that reality check later.) Happy to be INDEPENDENT. (That one, too.) But, they are also scared. They are moving into new territory- whether that territory is middle school, high school, college or grad school. They have fears about what awaits them. When they talk to you about those fears, resist the urge to tell them "It will be okay," or to say, "This is how I handled it," or worse, "This is how you should handle it." Sometimes, your graduate doesn't need to hear your advice or platitudes. Sometimes, they just need to talk. Let them. You might be surprised at what they work out on their own, just because you had the restraint to LISTEN and let them talk through things out loud.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Be available. </u></b>When my daughters went off to college, I felt like a piece of my body had been torn off. I seriously felt physical pain. Can any of you relate? When I saw their cell numbers pop up on my phone, I felt instant healing. And, I don't care if I was talking to my boss, my mama, or my preacher, I instantly took their call. Sometimes they were calling with a problem they needed help with. Sometimes they were calling for money. Sometimes they were just calling to say "hey." Sometimes, I wonder if they were testing me just to see if I would answer. I always did. When your graduate is navigating new and scary territory they need a safe place they can go... and they need it when they need it, not when it's convenient for you. Be that safe place for them.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>Be an encourager but not a fixer. </u></b>It's hard for parents to let go. I get that. My daughters are in their 20's and I still want to rush in and fix everything for them. That's not doing them any favors. If you want your adult children to survive and thrive in this world, you need to let them handle some things on their own. And, you need to encourage them in their efforts to do that. How? By reinforcing their good ideas for solutions to problems, and by GENTLY guiding (not prodding or forcing) them away from questionable solutions/people/situations. A good way to do this is to ask them questions like: "What might happen if you did this?" and "What might happen if you don't do that?" Trust that you raised good kids. And, don't be afraid to let them fall. They will learn how to get up again and they will be stronger for it. Hug them when they are hurting. Let them cry. Then, tell them how proud you are of them, whether they succeed---or fail. Then, tell them again. And, again. And, again. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">These are just 3 of my suggestions for helping graduates move to the next stage of life. I bet you have some great advice, too! I'd love for you to post that advice here on the blog, or on my Facebook https://www.facebook.com/drexelgilbertauthorspeakermotivatoror Twitter https://twitter.com/drexelgilbert </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">pages. Hashtag it #graduationadvice2018 and let's see where it takes us and where it takes them! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-35293837387519427302018-05-13T12:43:00.000-07:002018-05-13T12:43:14.771-07:00"That" Mom<div>
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I am "that" mom. You know. The one who saved every daily progress report from her daughters' pre-school. The one who saved every coloring sheet from kindergarten. The one who saved every pair of ballet slippers, even the ones that smelled like a dirty gym bag. The one who actually saved the tiny paper holes her 5-year-old sat on the floor punching for HOURS! Yep. I saved it all.</div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Except for the afternoon I didn't.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd had a day. In the newsroom where I worked as an anchor, I'd faced one obstacle after another. On the drive home, I'd hit every red light and traffic jam, and gotten behind every bobo driver on the road. My day had been filled with clutter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While unpacking the girls' things I pulled out a fistful of coloring papers. I just couldn't face the idea of any more clutter. So, I (gasp) looked over my shoulder, saw the coast was clear, opened the kitchen waste can, moved the things on top around, stuffed the papers inside, and covered them up. It was just one day's worth of coloring papers, right? I felt so guilty, I almost pulled them back out. Almost.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A while later, she came bounding into the kitchen. At some point, she opened the waste can and... you guessed it! She spied the papers, dug them out, turned her sweet little face and big blue eyes up to me and said, "Mommy! Why did you throw my art away? Don't you like it?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moments like that make you realize just how important the job of mothering is. Children, regardless of their age, look to us not just for love, but for guidance, encouragement, and even validation. We have to be mindful of our words and actions, even when we are tired or upset. Our words and actions have the power to wound or to heal. Healing words can change a life for the better. Wounds from words may take a lifetime to heal if they ever do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, mothering is a big job. We face sleepless nights ruled by a colicky 3-month-old. We face fearful nights the first time our teenager drives away in the family car by herself. We face heartbreaking nights when our child cries herself to sleep because of hurt feelings, lost love, or the cruelties of life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, we also face deliriously happy times. The first smile, tooth, or step. The way they look for you when they score on the soccer field, dance stage, or spelling bee. The nights they poke their head in your bedroom to say "I'm home, Mom. Night, I love you." </span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7Uoc8Q4k5sk/WviTXv7KDKI/AAAAAAAADXo/vpb4bp0DAMAgaQN5rVFJqvfoGP1z4uV9wCLcBGAs/s1600/310865_2187782486576_970753771_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="661" data-original-width="800" height="165" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7Uoc8Q4k5sk/WviTXv7KDKI/AAAAAAAADXo/vpb4bp0DAMAgaQN5rVFJqvfoGP1z4uV9wCLcBGAs/s200/310865_2187782486576_970753771_n.jpg" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mothering is a big job. The stakes are high. You're handed this tiny, wrinkled little bundle of newness and you panic, thinking, "Okay.. what now?" Then you pray that you won't mess it up. You pray that somehow, God will give you the wisdom- and the wits - to raise this living, breathing creation of amazing wonderfulness into a bright, happy, productive human being. You pray. Then you pray again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll never forget the mornings my daughters were born. When they were handed to me, they </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">looked straight into my eyes. From that moment on, we were forever connected- not by an umbilical cord, but by a connection stronger than any piece of steel. We were connected- through thick and thin, good times and bad, joy and sorrow. My daughters are the only two people who have ever heard my heartbeat from the inside. I love them just as much today as I did the mornings they were born. More- if that's even possible.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, God must have heard my prayers. Because I did mess up. I said words I shouldn't have. I didn't say words I should have. I gave bad advice. I lost my cool. I tossed coloring papers in the trash. But, God, and my daughters, were bigger than my mistakes. My girls, Avery and Lauren, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">have grown into beautiful, bright, happy, successful young women. </span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m0vM3SgS270/WviTcf8v3rI/AAAAAAAADXw/W-NqyG8290czBwhT1rej2I6KbwxiVg84gCLcBGAs/s1600/14088414_10208535277511912_4802459471312722419_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="751" data-original-width="960" height="250" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-m0vM3SgS270/WviTcf8v3rI/AAAAAAAADXw/W-NqyG8290czBwhT1rej2I6KbwxiVg84gCLcBGAs/s320/14088414_10208535277511912_4802459471312722419_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Am I still "that" mom? You bet. I keep every text, email, and card I receive from them. I press flowers they send me in wax paper, frame their artwork from years gone by, and fill up my office and home with books and bibles from their childhood. Clutter? Absolutely not. They are cherished memories of a lifetime of love and laughter. They are a reminder that we continue to make new memories... as mother and daughters, and as friends. And, on this Mother's Day, I give thanks to God that He placed these incredible human beings in my life. I am better for having known- and grown- them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Happy Mother's Day? You bet it is.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-24283168045968934782018-05-05T11:55:00.000-07:002018-05-05T11:55:44.015-07:00It's Time to Date Your Mate!<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vAXEzaOK6Fs/Wu3U2OmbjaI/AAAAAAAADWs/ILmwyXHJ0UEf8-HEGrTG05Ta45_h7hC-wCLcBGAs/s1600/hands.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1044" data-original-width="1600" height="208" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vAXEzaOK6Fs/Wu3U2OmbjaI/AAAAAAAADWs/ILmwyXHJ0UEf8-HEGrTG05Ta45_h7hC-wCLcBGAs/s320/hands.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> May is National Date Your Mate Month. Who knew we needed an entire month to remind us of the importance of dating our mate? I mean, really.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"We've been married forever. We're together all the time, right? She knows I love her. He knows I appreciate him. We have jobs, kids, laundry, civic obligations. The days are long, but the time is short. Who has even a minute to plan and actually go out on a date? Seriously?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Seriously.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> One of the major reasons couples grow apart, become lonely, and even end up parting is because they lose the sense of passion, spontaneity, and intimacy of the early days and years. Holding hands, full-on kissing, dancing, and even talking fall by the wayside. They're replaced by colic, bills, household maintenance, and long hours on the job. This isn't about assigning fault. It's not intentional. It's just life getting in the way. But we don't have to let it! Who wouldn't want the opportunity to add a spark to the days... and nights? Scratch that. Don't aim for a spark. Aim for a 3 alarm fire! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Date Your Mate Month provides you with the perfect opportunity. I'm going to help you with suggestions for fun ways to infuse your relationship with romance, passion, and fun! Starting today, I'll be posting daily "Date Your Mate" tips on my website <a href="http://www.drexelgilbert.com/">www.drexelgilbert.com</a>. Use some of them. Use all of them. Mix them up or take them in order. The point is to use this month to become intentional about expressing to your mate just how much you love them. Don't just say it, though. DO something about it. It doesn't have to be expensive or involved. Sometimes the simplest gestures that come straight from the heart are the ones that make the most impact and stir up the passion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> For guys: Remember how your dates used to start… and end? I’m guessing it was with a kiss. Not just a peck on the lips or Heaven forbid- the cheek. No, I’m thinking you laid a lip-lock on that woman that made her toes tingle! It’s time to get the electricity flowing again. Today, every time you see your mate, kiss her. Full-on kiss her! Follow that kiss by whispering “I love you,” into her ear. Ask her out on a date, then begin making plans. Yep. I’m advising YOU to plan the date. Sure, it will take some time. But time is one of the most precious gifts we can give the person we love. Low on ideas? That’s okay. I’ll be posting “date night” suggestions in the coming days. You just keep checking the website. In the meantime, pucker up and kiss her like you mean it!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> For gals: Today, is your warm-up. All day long, I want you to demonstrate to your mate just how much you appreciate him. Don’t point out anything negative about your mate or your relationship. Instead, be intentional about telling him positive things you like about him. Explain why you appreciate it when he brings you flowers, rubs your neck, diapers the baby, or puts the toilet seat down! Scientific research shows that being appreciated in a relationship lifts us up, releases endorphins, and causes us to feel loving toward our partner. A little appreciation might lead to some acceleration… in the romance department. Keep the momentum going by making a date with him. I’ll be posting suggestions for fun date nights starting tomorrow. I think you’ll appreciate them!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> P.S. Don’t want to wait for the dating and romance tips? You can order “30 Days To Better Love: A Guide for Men here <a href="http://www.drexelgilbert.com/relationship-books/" target="_blank">http://www.drexelgilbert.com/relationship-books/</a> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many of the tips work as a guide for women, too! Cheers to love!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Drexel Gilbert is a career TV journalist, relationship coach, and speaker. Her practical advice for couples brings healing and breathes life into relationships. <i>30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men</i> is used by couples’ counselors and by men and women just like you. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-22556617675804368202018-04-24T05:33:00.001-07:002018-04-24T05:33:47.513-07:00Going Somewhere?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I read this quote from Brian Tracy on Twitter yesterday: "It doesn't matter where you are coming from. All that matters is where you are going." I'm a big fan of Mr. Tracy. But, he's got it wrong this time.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I gather his point is that we shouldn't live in the past. We are on the same page with that one. But neither should we ignore it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> About 10 years ago, I launched out of a comfortable full-time career in television news and into the exciting but scary position of redefining who I was and what I was going to do my life. I wondered: "Where do I go from here?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I began receiving speaking invitations. I accepted and found I had an affinity for sharing my story and inspiring others to take chances and pursue dreams. A door to a new beginning opened in front of me. I stepped through it and liked what I saw on the other side. But, it was only because of "where I had come from" that I have been able to continue to "get to where I was going."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I've found that the people who come to hear me speak want to know about the challenges life has presented and how I tried, succeeded, or sometimes failed, to meet those challenges. They want to hear that no matter how dark a place we may sometimes come from, a light will eventually shine. They want to know how to get over, under or around the life's hurdles. And they want to know what to expect on the other side.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> You see, if none of us had difficult times in our past, we really wouldn't have much of a story to tell. If none of us had to struggle, we would never become stronger. If none of us had overcome, we would never be able to inspire others to do so. If none of us had loved... and lost... and found love again, we would not be able to offer hope of that to someone else who is hurting. If none of us had ever questioned our faith... but persevered and finally found it again... we couldn't help others find their way out of the darkness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> If you are having trouble seeing where you are going, I encourage you, at least momentarily, to look behind you. Where are you coming from? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> What worked for you in that past? What didn't? What mistakes are you repeating? How can you stop from repeating them again? Who have you allowed into your life that shouldn't be there? Who have you kept out of your life that should be there? Have you let your fears keep you from going after your dreams? Have you gone after those dreams only to see them disintegrate because you didn't properly prepare? Did you come from an unhappy, abusive, impoverished, faithless, or loveless past? </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> It's okay. It's the past. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But if you want to get to a better future, address that past. Discard what (or who) you need to, then get busy getting to where you're going.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And, when you get there, turn around... and see just how far you've come. </span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-25643590826938258122018-02-16T15:08:00.000-08:002018-02-16T15:08:17.238-08:00Hit the Brakes - Chapel A Day (Day 2)<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you ever find yourself staring at the food you're heating in the microwave and saying, through gritted teeth, "Hurrrryyyy uppppp!" I do.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We live such busy lives. From the time our feet hit the floor early in the morning to the time we lay our weary heads upon our pillow late at night, we go-go-go all day-day-day. We want fast food, fast wifi, and fast cars. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Maybe it's time to hit the brakes. But, how?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's the question I pondered in today's chapel-a-day time. I'm giving up an hour of "my" </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">time each day of Lent and giving it back to God. I want to spend that time thinking and praying about what I can do to become a better person for God, for others, and for myself. Today, I realized that the first step is probably to hit the brakes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jesus knew the importance of that. In scripture, we're told that he often went off by himself to pray. Other times, he would stop what he was doing and take time to talk to someone who needed him. He advised his friend Martha to "slow down, already." (Loose translation!) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Granted, Jesus didn't have a cellphone that dinged every 3 minutes with a text, email, or Facebook notification. He didn't have a 9-5 job with a crabby boss who watched the clock, or children who needed to be carpooled to soccer or ballet...or both... at the same time. But, he did have places to go, people to see, and things to do... really important things. He still found a way to pace himself. Perhaps if we did the same, and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">started running our own lives, instead of letting our lives run us, we might find ourselves happier, healthier, and more spiritually fulfilled. Which brings me back to my earlier question: How? Well, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm ruminating on that. But here are three things that might be worth considering.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1- How important (really important) are the items on our daily "to-do" list? Are we prioritizing them, or just cramming as much as we can into that list? What can we live/do without? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2- How much time do we spend each day with media- TV, Netflix, Facebook, Twitter, Google-surfing? What if we cut that time in half and spent it with real people and participating in real, rather than virtual, activities?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3- When's the last time we put down the smartphone, Ipad, or Kindle and actually read a book... you know, the kind with real pages that you can turn. I read a study (um... online) which concluded that the light that comes from computer screens and cellphones can increase your risk for disease and decrease your level of quality sleep. Maybe a good "page-turner" every now would be good for us. There's something calming about reading a book, or a devotional, or.. dare I say it? A few passages of scripture from the Bible. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Those are all good questions. But, my chapel time today led me to believe that the main question to ask is: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"What and who might I see if I slow down instead of racing from here to there and back again every day?" I'm going to work on finding the answer to that by, well... by hitting the brakes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'll let you know how it goes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-1459408062471182782018-01-24T11:49:00.001-08:002018-01-24T11:50:56.169-08:00Just Say it!<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"You look very nice."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I heard the male voice just behind my left shoulder, as I made my way through the crowds after a long, hot tiring day of selling books at a Florida arts festival. I turned and looked at the gentleman who'd fallen in step with me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sweaty, disheveled, and exhausted, I laughed and said, "Wait.. who, me?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Yes, you. You look very nice. " </span>Then, he stopped and said, "I'm sorry. I don't mean to be inappropriate."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Normally, I would have just mumbled a quick "thank you" and hurried on. But, he was seemed sincere, polite and respectful. I sensed that I should also stop. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, I did. </span>And, I waited.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He continued. "I have just decided, 'what the heck' these days. I have so many friends who have died, are dying, or are sick. Life's too short. If I want to say something nice these days... I just say it."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He hesitated, then looked me in the eye and asked, "Is it okay? What I said to you?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Of course," I replied. "And, thank you very much. I actually needed to hear that today." Then,</span> we both moved on... in the opposite directions that led to our respective lives. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's funny how a random, 60-second encounter with a total stranger can continue to rattle around in your brain until you finally stop racing from here to there and really consider what was said.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"<i>Life's too short. If I want to say something nice these days... I just say it.</i>"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">16 little words that are hugely profound.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I began to think about all the missed opportunities I've had to give a quick compliment, to say something nice to someone, to lift someone up, to encourage, to help...to heal. The reasons for letting the moment pass probably seemed good at the time. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I'm in a hurry." "They are in a hurry." "I will say something next time." "I don't know them." "They'll reject it." "They'll think I'm weird." </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So what? </span><i>Life's too short.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We are just a few days into the new year. What have you done with your "new start" on the timeline that is your life? We are each given 24 hours every day to DO SOMETHING. Even if that "something" is simply speaking a complimentary or uplifting word to someone we know, or perhaps to someone we don't. We can choose to opt out using any of the above excuses. Oh, you mean these?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I'm/They're in a hurry." It takes 5 seconds to give a compliment or speak a kind word to someone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I will say something next time." What if there isn't a next time for one or both of you?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"I don't know them." Maybe it will lead to an introduction.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"They'll reject it." So? You've still managed to put positive energy out there. It will do some good.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"They'll think I'm weird." Or, they may think you're kind. They may even think you're a gift. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, here's the deal. Let's go out on a limb and say something nice to someone every day for the next 7 days. Even if it's a total stranger. Perhaps, </span><i>especially</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> if it's a total stranger. </span>We may make someone's day. We may make our own day! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br />We will almost certainly make good use of our time.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-47708169318038734442017-11-07T14:01:00.000-08:002017-11-07T14:01:14.787-08:0030 Days of Thanks-Being Thankful Isn’t Always Easy<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> This month, I’m blogging about Thanksgiving. Not just the November day of celebration, but about developing a lifestyle of thanksgiving, which can radically change your life. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Several years ago, I wrote a bible study called “30 Days of Thanks.” What I determined during my research is that “thanksgiving” boils down to four things:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Thanksgiving is gratitude</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Thanksgiving is sacrifice </span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Thanksgiving is relationship</span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Thanksgiving is a call to action</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Last blog, I wrote about <b><i>gratitude</i></b> as a lifestyle. <a href="http://drexelgilbert.blogspot.com/2017/11/30-days-of-thanks-its-more-than-words.html" target="_blank">Read it here.</a> Thanksgiving is also <b><i>sacrifice.</i></b> Ouch. Sacrifice? Like… give something up? Like… put someone or something else ahead of my own interests? Like...giving thanks when the world around me is falling apart?</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like… not being #1? Yeah. Like that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In the Old Testament, "sacrifice" had a very literal meaning. It typically meant a physical sacrifice of food or animals, offered on an altar to God as a means of showing repentance or gratitude. When Christ came on the scene, the meaning of sacrifice began to change. The apostle Paul tells us that sacrifice is often less about the act and more about the heart. Because what is in our heart will determine the way we act. (Funny how that works, huh?)</span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Thanksgiving is sacrifice because it is not always easy. </span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <b><i> Sometimes we just don't feel like giving thanks!</i></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> We can't see the good in what is happening in our own lives, in the lives of our family or friends, or in the world. We are sad, or hurting, or angry, or confused, and we just don't feel like saying "Thank you, God." We see innocent people murdered, lives cut short by disease, and relationships splintered by hurtful actions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So, why should we give thanks? Lots of reasons. First, giving thanks takes the focus off what is troubling us and puts it on God. It keeps us from being paralyzed by fear, anger, or grief. It keeps us from rash actions that may be driven by our fear, anger, or grief. Sacrificial thanks may not change our situation, but it may change us. And if we are changed, we may view our situation differently and be more open to finding solutions to problems or challenges.</span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Hear me on this: giving thanks in difficult times doesn’t mean we ignore what is troubling us. It means we thank God in the midst of what is troubling us. It doesn’t mean we ignore the evil in the world- whether it’s our own little world or the world at large. It means we give thanks to God that we are the kind of person who does recognize evil and who is motivated to find ways to change the situation. It doesn’t mean that our heart doesn’t hurt. It means we open our hurting heart to the one source that is able to bring healing. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Sometimes, we have to ask God to show us what we can be thankful for. And, when he does… and when we do… there’s one last step. We look for ways to “do good.” In the book of Hebrews, we are told "to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. (Hebrews 13:16)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> In my last blog post, I asked you to take inventory of your life and write down what you are truly thankful for. People, community, church, health, possessions, forgiveness, grace, etc.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8nD4EEQvMBg/WgIppdRgseI/AAAAAAAAB7c/I4CxiCH9Ttcusc7iqO6nc2lrnyDcqC7mgCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_7252.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1356" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-8nD4EEQvMBg/WgIppdRgseI/AAAAAAAAB7c/I4CxiCH9Ttcusc7iqO6nc2lrnyDcqC7mgCLcBGAs/s320/IMG_7252.jpg" width="271" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Now, I want you to list at least one or two things that you find it difficult, if not impossible, to be thankful for. Then I want you to really think about those things, meditate on them, pray about them. Then write down one or two ways you can still give thanks. Sacrificial thanks. From your heart. Don't feel like giving thanks? Do it anyway... for just this one month. Then... do good. See if it makes a difference in your life. I believe it will. And, I would be thankful to hear from you about that! </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-16405264004988096362017-11-01T13:47:00.001-07:002017-11-01T13:47:26.288-07:0030 Days of Thanks-It's More than Words<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“30 Days of Thanks.” It’s a thing. For the past several years, people have used the entire month of November, not just Thanksgiving Day, as an opportunity to reflect on what they are thankful for in their lives. They post about it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. They write about the people, things, and opportunities for which they give thanks. That’s a good thing. And, I’ve read that if we do something consistently for 30 days, it becomes a habit. That makes “30 Days of Thanks” an even better thing.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve been encouraging a journey of 30 Days of Thanks since before it was “a thing.” In 2009, I wrote a bible study on the importance of a thankful lifestyle. Here’s what I learned.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">Thanksgiving is an act of </span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;">gratitude</b></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanksgiving is an act of<b> sacrifice</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Thanksgiving is a call <b>relationship</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Thanksgiving is a call to <b>action</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Did you notice that in each of those statements, “thanksgiving” is a noun that requires an action? How about that? Thanksgiving is something we “do” and as such, becomes part of who we are. Thanksgiving is largely about the attitude of the heart. Why is that so important? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The practice of giving thanks is established in both the Old and New Testaments. The <b><i>act of gratitude</i></b>, giving thanks first and foremost to God, was a crucial part of not only worship but also of lifestyle because “Every good and perfect gift is from above…” (James 1:17.) <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Thanksgiving is also an <b><i>act of gratitude</i></b> toward others. When someone shows you a kindness, feel grateful instead of entitled. When someone offers to open the door, pick up the tab, or pay you a compliment, accept their courtesy and then tell them how much you appreciate them. Your appreciation will be a boost to their spirit, and to yours! Why?</span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> Because the act of gratitude takes the focus off "self" and puts it on God and on the people who make our life worth living. It reminds us that we are part of something bigger than our own ego. It reminds us that our life is full not only because of our own effort but because of answers to prayer and acts of love from other people. It prevents us from becoming arrogant and thinking we've gotten to where we are without any help---from "above" and from others. It keeps our heart soft instead of allowing it to become hard. It reminds us of just how much we need God and others in our lives. This attitude of gratitude will spill over to people with whom we meet and interact. Have you ever known anyone who was just-so-joyful because they were just-so-thankful? Not just in the moment but in every moment of every day. They've allowed gratitude to become an attitude.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> How can we show our gratitude to God? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Talk to him (prayer)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Read his “letters” to you (bible study)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Pay it forward (use what he gives to us to bless others)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Be the hands and feet of Jesus in the world (service)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Follow the example of Jesus (be kind, giving, forgiving, moral, instructive)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> How can we show our gratitude to others?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Talk to them (spend time </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><i>talking</i></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">, not just texting or emailing)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Write a letter of thanks or appreciation to them</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Pay it forward (do something nice for no reason at all)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Be the hands & feet of Jesus (don’t wait for someone else to supply a need)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Follow the example of Jesus (be kind, giving, forgiving, moral, instructive)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> One of the first ways we can begin to cultivate a mindset of gratitude, or thankfulness, is to take inventory of our life. Despite the hassles and heartbreaks our life may be sprinkled with, when we take inventory we are often surprised to see just how much we have to be thankful for--- the people in our life, our health, our possessions, our community (church, neighborhood, school, work) spiritual gifts--- ours and others (forgiveness, grace, peace, joy, patience, contentment, etc.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rrnZMVZjNeU/WfoxgbpDUiI/AAAAAAAAB6Y/idU9rts9DEwuN780kxVAbP-PWvLJvlr4gCLcBGAs/s1600/thankful%2Bfor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rrnZMVZjNeU/WfoxgbpDUiI/AAAAAAAAB6Y/idU9rts9DEwuN780kxVAbP-PWvLJvlr4gCLcBGAs/s200/thankful%2Bfor.jpg" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> I challenge you to take that inventory TODAY. Today, write a list of what and who you have to be thankful for. Take your list and put it somewhere you will see it every day, preferably in the mornings. Put it by the coffeemaker or your toothbrush, or tape it to your bathroom mirror.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Read the list every morning and find one way, just one way for that one day, to demonstrate your gratitude to God for the goodness he has shown you, recalling that every good and perfect gift has come from him. They may be outright gifts, or opportunities he puts in your path, or people, or the wisdom and strength to do what you have to do. Find one way, just one way for that one day, to demonstrate your gratitude to others for the blessings they bring to your life. It may be your spouse, or your children, or your parents, or your friends, or the postman, or the lady who checks you out at Publix. It doesn't matter who it is. Give thanks for them and give thanks TO them!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> Oh, and add one more thank-you to the list every single day until the end of the month (regardless of when you begin the list.) As you watch your list grow, see if it makes a difference in your attitude and life. I'm betting it will. I'd love to hear from you about that!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Next blog: <b><i>Thanksgiving is an act of sacrifice</i></b><b><i><o:p></o:p></i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PS-I’m thankful for you and that you have taken the time to read this. God bless you in this special month of thanksgiving. </span><span style="font-size: 18.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-68293665950760519672017-09-09T06:48:00.000-07:002017-09-09T07:04:01.649-07:00Those Who Stay<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I’ve been reading a lot of mean-spirited comments regarding people who are not evacuating ahead of Hurricane Irma. After spending a lifetime as a television journalist, I’ve learned that there are many real and legitimate reasons why people do not flee from an impending storm. I have been one of those people for most of my adult life.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aadvNHcLvZY/WbPuGxlLrTI/AAAAAAAAB14/mm3C7yTbGigZD4ApHGGL9R0AMx8OuJy3ACLcBGAs/s1600/269328_3682727739273_1109826620_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="684" data-original-width="960" height="228" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-aadvNHcLvZY/WbPuGxlLrTI/AAAAAAAAB14/mm3C7yTbGigZD4ApHGGL9R0AMx8OuJy3ACLcBGAs/s320/269328_3682727739273_1109826620_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> In September of 1979, I was a frightened cub reporter who said goodbye to my evacuating parents and siblings and then drove to the television station where I worked. I would be there, in and out of the Hurricane Frederic’s wicked weather, for days. Did I want to pack up and get out of town? You bet! Could I? No. The career I had chosen required me to stay behind. It required me to do my best to keep the viewers in my area informed, calm, and safe. The storm eventually passed and my family returned.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 25 years later, in September of 2004, I was a frightened, seasoned anchor who said goodbye to my evacuating children and then drove to the television station where I worked. I would be there, in and out of the wicked weather caused by Hurricane Ivan, for days. You see the pattern. It was a pattern that replayed itself every hurricane season when a storm came to town. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Who doesn’t evacuate? And, why? Well, of course, there are “hurricane cowboys” who think it will be adventurous to ride out a storm, even though they have the time and resources to get out of town. And, I'll agree with you that they are irresponsible, reckless, and so very foolish. Sometimes there are those who truly believe the storm will not be “that bad.” And, they live (hopefully) to regret not taking the warnings seriously. But, those two groups are in the minority. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Most of the ones who stay behind simply can’t leave for one reason or another. First responders, hospital personnel, and journalists are just a few of the people who can’t evacuate. Ministers stay to keep watch over their churches and congregations.Sometimes people are recovering from surgery, or have medical conditions that prohibit them from packing up and heading out. Some refuse to leave aging and sick family members who can't evacuate. Some people have no transportation. Some don’t have the financial resources. Some can’t get away until it’s too late- the roads are gridlocked and there’s no fuel. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> If you have been reading my blog, you know that circumstances put me in the Orlando area ahead of this storm.The scheduling was coincidental, accidental, or providential depending on how you want to look at it. I drove by a stretch of Orlando's Highway 192 late yesterday that was lined with hotels, grocery stores, and gas stations. They were all open. Someone has to stay and take care of the customers—the customers who are hunkering down and the customers who are trying to get out of town. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought of the front desk personnel at hotels. Instead of leaving for safer ground, they are still here, making sure that those from mandatory evacuation areas (like Miami and the Florida Keys for instance) are checked in, tucked in, and calmed down. Both of my daughters have careers that keep them from leaving. (Funny how life plays out sometimes, isn’t it?) My son-in-law is a doctor, my sister is a nurse, and they also cannot leave. Thankfully, we are not under mandatory evacuation orders, and we have safe places to go. But we all know it is going to be a difficult and frightening ride. The only upside is that we will be close to each other and my girls won’t have to face this monster from a distance of hundreds of miles away from their mama-bear mother.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> M</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">any people in Florida have never seen a </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">hurricane this large and powerful. They are frightened. They are apprehensive. They are already weary. Every westward or eastward blink that Hurricane Irma makes spikes the anxiety meter.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So, here’s what I propose. Hold off on criticizing the people who have not evacuated. There will be time enough to take to task those who defied mandatory evacuation orders and stayed when they absolutely could have, and should have, left. Instead, pray for them. Pray for their safety and that their foolishness will not endanger law enforcement and/or medical personnel. Pray for the ones who can’t leave. Pray for people who stay to help others. Pray for the people who stay to inform others. Pray for the ones whose jobs demand their presence. Pray for the ones who can’t leave because of health or family concerns. Pray for the people who open their homes and businesses to those who have nowhere else to go. Pray for the ones who have evacuated and for the ones who are stuck in evacuation traffic. Pray for the ones who are not in mandatory evacuation areas, but who will most certainly experience pain and loss of some kind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Just. Pray.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Florida will appreciate it. And, we will thank you on the other side of it.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-27924883062533774232017-09-07T06:53:00.000-07:002017-09-08T06:02:44.040-07:00Faith Before the Storm<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I’m going to stop writing about life’s struggles. No, really. I mean it. It seems like every time I write a blog, or a Sunday School lesson, or a magazine article, or a book about the challenges in life… that particular topic comes home to roost right on top of my ever-lovin' </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">head.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, for real, people. I write about how to overcome issues with self-control, and the most aggravating human being on the planet since National Lampoon’s Cousin Eddie crosses my path. I write about choosing joy instead of giving into stressful circumstances, and I get a flat tire on the road to nowhere. I write about seeking peace and my life goes cattywampus times twelve. OR--- as is the case of the past few days--- I write a blog post about <a href="http://drexelgilbert.blogspot.com/2017/08/after-storm.html" target="_blank">surviving Hurricane Harvey and other storms of life </a></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">and I find myself driving TOWARD the next hurricane, a tyrant named Irma, because of a pre-arranged appointment that can’t be rescheduled. R</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">eally, Life?</span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vmuVS5LNzIw/WbFNfNdxODI/AAAAAAAAB1Q/omcerynfrZ4shy60-kjt343sEQvJ-u5dwCLcBGAs/s1600/irma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="531" data-original-width="1063" height="159" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vmuVS5LNzIw/WbFNfNdxODI/AAAAAAAAB1Q/omcerynfrZ4shy60-kjt343sEQvJ-u5dwCLcBGAs/s320/irma.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, here I sit in Orlando. Florida. The PLAN was to arrive early in the week, and head home no later than Saturday. The REALITY is that by the time I can extricate myself from things here, the impact of Hurricane Irma will make driving home perilous. So, it looks like I’ll be hunkering down--- with my two daughters who, coincidentally, live in Orlando and Tampa. You know those cities. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">They are currently in Irma’s bloodshot-eyed line of sight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yay.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, the question for me today is: Where is your faith in all of this, Drexel? You are an unabashed Jesus-freak. You beat the drum of faith and trust. You say, “Jesus, take the wheel” and you claim to mean it. After all, you just wrote a blog explaining the process of trusting God in the healing process that follows a storm. And, here you are, scrambling for water and peanut butter, drawing up a plan of action… with one eye on the lines at the gas station and one eye on the hurricane weather radar. I ain’t gonna lie. The anxiety meter has spiked. As the cases of water pile up in my car, so do the “what ifs?” in my mind. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The question again: “Where is your faith, Drexel?” The answer to my question is this: My faith is where it has always been. In God. While I keep my eyes on safety plans and provisions supplies, I choose to remember that He has his eye on me and on those I love. I do not know how this unwelcome tryst with Hurricane Irma will end. Will she barge right up the spine of central Florida? Will she decide to two-step to the east and possibly move into open water? We just don’t know. What we do know is that wherever she lands, Irma will cause damage. So, I wait. I watch. I pray. But I'm not expecting God to do it all! I use the brains, logic, and critical thinking skills he gave me. So, I also plan. I have three possible locations for evacuation. I know where the official shelter in my area is located. I have water, batteries, flashlights, wading boots, non-perishable food. I’ve fueled up the cars. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I also look for ways to be thankful in this situation. (1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances.”) It’s hard to be thankful when you look at the radar screen and see nothing but a huge blob of angry red that is covering ¾ of the state of Florida. Having said that, I made a list. I am thankful that, as a coastal resident my entire life, I understand how to prepare for hurricanes. I am thankful that I have been able to find provisions. I am thankful that I have options for shelter from the storm in the event I do need to evacuate. And, I am thankful that I have both of my daughters within hugging distance. I was a television news anchor for almost thirty years. I spent countless hurricanes separated from my daughters. If this hurricane comes our way, I won’t be holed up in the bunker of a television station while my kids are hours, or days, away from me. There’s something weirdly comforting about that. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For all of my friends and family in Florida, and those whom I will never meet, we don’t know what the next few days will bring. None of us in Florida, or beyond, knows where Irma will eventually end up. So, let's plan. Let's prepare. Let's pray. Let's hold onto God and to each other. Let’s be smart. Let’s be kind to each other as we seek out provisions and prepare our homes. Let’s be compassionate and helpful to those around us. Let's leave for safer ground, if necessary. Mostly, let’s have faith that God will bring us through whatever is coming our way. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Back to what I said at the beginning of this little piece, it seems like everything I choose to write about quickly shows up in my life, kind of like a challenge to put my money where my mouth is. To make me prove that what I write is what I believe and what I live.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">So, from here on out, I’m thinking that I’m only going to write about fluffy white clouds. And rainbows. And butterflies. And puppies. Can I get an amen?</span></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-45495768382690045812017-08-30T08:54:00.001-07:002017-08-30T09:53:35.740-07:00After The Storm<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Today is National Grief Awareness Day. I’d planned weeks ago to write a blog about grieving as it relates to our relationships. Then, a beast named Harvey came to town. Not to my town, but it might as well have been. My town has been plundered by Harvey’s wicked brothers and sisters through the years. I bet you’ve heard of them. Frederic, Elena, Katrina… and Ivan to name just a few members of this dysfunctional family.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> When storms like these barge into our lives, they take advantage of us, make a mess of things, and harm us physically… and emotionally. They steal from us.They steal our homes, our possessions, our sense of security. Sometimes they steal people we love. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> You want to talk grief? Walk through a neighborhood after a storm like Harvey finally gets the heck out of there. Look at the slumped shoulders, defeated faces, and vacant stares of the people who are returning to find “nothing” where the “something” of their lives used to be. I’ve seen it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I’ve seen it as a journalist who covered every northern Gulf Coast hurricane from Frederic to Katrina. But, I’ve also seen it as the adult daughter of parents who basically lost everything when Ivan stormed into town. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I was a TV news anchor in Mobile, Alabama that September night in 2004. Initially, we thought Ivan was heading west of us. At pretty much the last minute, he hooked east. My parents, my siblings, and even my children (who had evacuated to “safety”) were now in the bullseye. It would be several days before the roads would be clear enough for me to be reunited with my family. Cell phone coverage was spotty at best. When my mom would get a signal and call, she couldn’t talk. All she could do was sob. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> When I was finally able to get to her, I saw why. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Their house, and pretty much everything that had been inside, was gone… swept away by wind and water...or buried. </span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-opu0hmXZbsI/Waa7RvV69oI/AAAAAAAABzo/o8X4fwJYyHAFPThx7NP0iGOkmPMl6Ps1QCLcBGAs/s1600/ivan%2Bmom%2Band%2Bdad%2Bhouse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="273" data-original-width="400" height="218" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-opu0hmXZbsI/Waa7RvV69oI/AAAAAAAABzo/o8X4fwJYyHAFPThx7NP0iGOkmPMl6Ps1QCLcBGAs/s320/ivan%2Bmom%2Band%2Bdad%2Bhouse.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Aerial shot of my parents' home after Ivan from the back. Photograph: Pensacola News Journal</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fQ7ULWwFTOI/WabTQv8LQ2I/AAAAAAAAB0Y/9GYouCmDsdQowYFeSnxJKFJVp250L1FWACLcBGAs/s1600/ivan%2Bmom%2Band%2Bdad%2Bhouse%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="800" height="240" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fQ7ULWwFTOI/WabTQv8LQ2I/AAAAAAAAB0Y/9GYouCmDsdQowYFeSnxJKFJVp250L1FWACLcBGAs/s320/ivan%2Bmom%2Band%2Bdad%2Bhouse%2B2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ground level from the front. See that one remaining front wall?<br />
There was basically nothing behind it, but air.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> From mid-September to December, my mother would go daily to the place where her home used to be and dig through the shambles Ivan had left behind. She was looking for anything that might have survived the storm. It didn’t matter how damaged the “anything” might be. She just wanted to get back some of what Ivan had stolen from her. Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t about “things.” Things can be replaced. It was about memories and life. It was about photographs, her grandfather’s glasses, a trinket her brother had given her when she was just 8 years old, an afghan that her mother had made by hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Someone told me that I should stop her from going to the house every day. They told me it wasn’t healthy. I begged to differ. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I told my well-intentioned friend to think of it like this: </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Some people grieve the loss of a loved one by returning to the cemetery every day for--- well, for as long as it takes. Others rarely, or even never, return. Grieving is deeply personal. What’s right for one person may not be for another. And while a loss to a storm is different from the loss of a loved one, it's still a loss. It's real. It hurts.And, we have to heal in the way that's best for us. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified the 5 stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.* Most physicians will tell you it’s a good model to work from. But not everyone’s grief looks the same. Not everyone goes through all of the stages, and if they do, they may not come in that exact order. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So, what can you do? </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you are the one experiencing the loss, don’t deny your grief. Don’t stuff it back and put on a brave face 24/7. Acknowledging the loss is painful, but it’s essential to begin the steps to healing. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Cry… or scream if you have to. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Talk to a friend or a counselor. Don’t refuse help from anyone and don't be afraid or too proud to ask for help, whether it’s from a family member or the Red Cross. Remember there are people who love you and who want to help you reassemble your life.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And remember to p</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ray. Then pray again. And again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> If you are helping someone who is grieving after the storm, don’t try to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do. Let them grieve in their own way. Be encouraging, but not demanding. Listen a lot and talk a little. Hold them while they cry.Sit silently with them when they cannot speak. Answer your phone when they call, even if it’s midnight.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And remember to pray. Then pray again. And again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The important thing to remember is that when you, or someone you know, feel the emotions of grief, it’s okay. The grieving process helps us return to a healthier state of mind and body. Don’t let the emotions rule your life, but don’t shut them out of your life, either. Let them happen, work your way through them, and come out stronger on the other side. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It’s not easy. I know that. But, I also know from more than thirty years of interviewing people who have grieved the losses caused by weather thieves with names like Andrew, and Charley and Alicia…and Harvey… that the storm does eventually pass. The sun does eventually shine. The heart does eventually heal.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We’re going to see a lot of spirit and spunk in the wake of Hurricane Harvey. We always do after storms like these. But, we are also going to see a lot of grief. If you are one of those affected, </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I may not know your name, but I understand your loss. Please know that I am praying for you. I pray for your recovery and the return of peace to your life. I will pray. Then pray again. And again. And, if you want to share your story with me, I’m happy to listen. You are not alone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*<a href="https://grief.com/the-five-stages-of-grief/"><span style="color: windowtext;">Five Stages of Grief by Elisabeth Kubler Ross & David Kessler</span></a></span><o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-63091320767694440572017-08-28T13:32:00.001-07:002017-08-28T13:33:22.129-07:00The Empty Nest<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yyplJezeO_k/WaR6-deKj4I/AAAAAAAABy8/SNg5tZLwNh4IlWzzb9JaXcx51yeHUh5wQCLcBGAs/s1600/12308427_10206622471212950_7004555906640296854_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="722" data-original-width="722" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-yyplJezeO_k/WaR6-deKj4I/AAAAAAAABy8/SNg5tZLwNh4IlWzzb9JaXcx51yeHUh5wQCLcBGAs/s320/12308427_10206622471212950_7004555906640296854_n.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> In the early, middle, and even later years of having my daughters
at home, I never really considered the concept of the “empty nest.” Surely that
wasn’t really a thing. Guess what? It really is a thing. My oldest was married
5 years ago and lives 7 hours away. My youngest moved 5 months ago. She lives 7
hours away.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The empty nest has come home to roost.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> So, how am I handling it? Depends on when you ask. But, as I settle
into life as an empty-nester I am learning a few things:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 1. I can now prepare asparagus and broccoli for dinner without
hearing "Ewwwww! Do I HAVE to eat that?"<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 2. I can clean the bathrooms on Monday and they are still clean
on Friday.<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 3. Laundry really doesn't have to be done every day. Who knew?<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I am also learning that if I could roll the clock back a few
months (or years):<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 1. I would happily return to preparing spaghetti, macaroni and
cheese and chicken nachos every night.<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 2. I would happily pick up those clothes that always piled up
behind the bathroom door and scrub the tub every day.<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> 3. There are worse things than washing, drying and folding clothes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I miss my kids. There. I said it.<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Don't get me wrong. I'm not sitting around moping. I'm up and at
'em every day, living my life, working hard and moving forward. I know
this is why we raise our children... to eventually release them to become
happy, healthy, independent adults who will live productive, happy, prosperous
lives…and live those lives in such a way as to have a positive influence on
society.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I get that. I also get this: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I. Miss. My. Kids.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Someone recently said to me, "But you wouldn't want them to
live with you forever would you?" Actually.... I kinda’ get the whole
"Dallas" thing now. You remember “Dallas,” right? </span></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I3-FLXZB9hY/WaR7cX4fGTI/AAAAAAAABzE/thfQ9toRtvY1iJEsbMkQer8CTq84X3kOQCLcBGAs/s1600/DallasCast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="214" data-original-width="400" height="171" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-I3-FLXZB9hY/WaR7cX4fGTI/AAAAAAAABzE/thfQ9toRtvY1iJEsbMkQer8CTq84X3kOQCLcBGAs/s320/DallasCast.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The entire,
flawed, fun, feuding, fussin’, cussin’, lovin’ Ewing family---grandparents,
parents, kids, etc.--- all living under one roof! <span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; text-align: center;">I could SO be Miss Ellie, happily moving through life
with all of my brood living under the same roof. Now hear this: Each
family would have their own wing complete with their own bathrooms and laundry
rooms! There would be total autonomy for each family, with no butting
into one another's business. But, everyone could gather together around
the dinner table at night and give thanks for the food (asparagus for me... mac
'n cheese for them) and for each other.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> D</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">oes that sound old-fashioned and sappy in today's modern world
where careers, and life's obligations and responsibilities are separating us not
just geographically but also relationally? (Yes, Grammarly, I know it's not a word, but it
should be.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, don't expect me to apologize. As Miss Ellie would say, "We
may be right and we may be wrong, but we're family, we stick together and
that's what makes us unbeatable."</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Wonder if Southfork can be rented for a family vacation?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 13.5pt;"><o:p></o:p></span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-4816089715025085172017-08-08T13:31:00.002-07:002017-08-08T13:31:40.057-07:00Relationships: How are Yours?<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My career path has taken an unexpected turn in recent years. After a lifetime of television journalism and corporate coaching, I find myself in the position of “relationship mentor.” You know, someone who helps someone else find deeper meaning, greater happiness, more stability, and richer satisfaction in their relationships. </span></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Photo: © 2017 Drexel Gilbert Enterprises, Inc.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most of my work comes in the faith-based arena, but I’ve come to believe that everything in life boils down to relationship. It’s how you treat others and how you expect others to treat you. It’s learning how to give with as much enthusiasm as you take. It’s learning to put the other person’s needs ahead of your own sometimes. But it’s also about knowing when to stand your ground when you need something from the other person, and knowing how to properly articulate that need. Relationship is about honesty. And trust. And courage. And endurance. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Relationships are not just between lovers. They may be between spouses, children, parents, or friends. They may be between businesses and clients, teachers and students, pastors and congregations. And then there’s the ultimate relationship. The one between you and God. If we don’t get that one right, not much else seems to come together,<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All relationships are structured differently and have different needs and desired outcomes. But they also share many things in common. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Relationship is the coming together of two or more people for the purpose of connection, fulfillment, companionship, and/or the achievement of common goals.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">There are needs, wants, and desires between those in the relationship.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Outside influences can positively or negatively impact the dynamics of the relationship.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Internal struggles can positively or negatively impact the dynamics of the relationship.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Relationships can be mutually satisfying with give and take on both, or all, sides.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Relationships can also become one-sided, with one person giving their all and the other person taking it all.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Relationships can be vibrant, growing, and thriving. You know, the kind that make you smile or laugh out loud when you think about them.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Relationships can become stale, not from lack of love, but from lack of use. They can also become ugly, when trust is violated and when the give and take is out of balance.</span></li>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do I know these things? Not because I have a degree in psychology. I don’t. Not because I am a counselor. I’m not. Not because I perfectly understand everything there is to know about humans and our relationships. I don’t.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I do have is a lifetime of experience with my own relationships-some that worked, and some that failed miserably. I have a lifetime of interviewing people about subjects as far apart as A is from Z, and coming to realize that every story I ever covered in 35 years of journalism boiled down to “relationship” in one form or another.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve researched. I’ve interviewed. I’ve talked about the ins and outs of good and bad relationships with husbands, wives, children, parents, psychologists, counselors, business leaders, politicians, ministers, ministers’ wives, scientists, professors, bartenders, fishermen, nurses, and baristas. I’ve heard stories that made me want to shout with happiness. I’ve heard stories that left me weeping on the floor. I’ve written books that have helped some people find their way back to a healthy, happy relationship. I’ve held the hands of others who decided it was time to walk away from a destructive relationship and walk toward a healthier life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had to face up to the fact that, as hard as I’d tried, I could not save all of my own relationships. Some of broken relationships I bore at least some of the responsibility for. Even “relationship mentors” who love Jesus and want to do the right thing when it comes to relating to other people don’t get it right in their own lives every time. But some of us try to take our mistakes, embarrassment, and heartbreak and use them to help others from falling into the same pit.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And that is where this blog post, and the next few posts to come, are headed. In the direction that will hopefully help you, and lots of other people, develop and maintain great relationships. Even the best of them can use a boost every now and then. And, even the best of them need work, and attention, and consistency.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The good news is that relationships have been around since the beginning of time. God created us for relationship… with him first, then with others. God did not create us to be loners. In the creation story in the book of Genesis, the only place where God says, “It is not good…” is in Gen. 2:18. “It is not good that man should be alone.” God knows we crave those ties that bind us to one another. He knows we need love relationships that connect our heart to another’s heart. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He also knows, and we should as well, that our relationships go into making up who we are and how we conduct ourselves in the world. Our relationships speak to how we feel about ourselves and how we take those feelings and project them onto others. Do you have healthy, or unhealthy, relationships? Do your relationships build you up, or tear you down? Do your relationships feed you, or feed on you? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Relationships are precious gifts. Whether they are with lovers, family, friends, or others who are in your social, faith, or business circle, you should choose them wisely and enter into them with great care. How do you do that? Check back in a few days for the next blog installment for important and practical guidance on how to enter into healthy relationships and avoid harmful ones.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;">In the meantime, take a few minutes and write down a list of the relationships that mean the most to you. Start with your family, then move to your friends, and beyond. Try giving the people on your list a call, or dropping them a card or email, and telling them how much they mean to you… and why. Bring joy to their life and it will </span>rebound<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: 0.5in;"> to you. I promise.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-4223644758396338702017-08-01T13:13:00.001-07:002017-08-01T18:54:05.843-07:00Got Girlfriends?<div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> Today is National Girlfriends Day- a day for women to celebrate the girlfriends who make our lives richer, fuller, more fun, and more stable. Do you remember your first gal-pal?</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> Mine was a little blonde named Mary Ann. We were in first grade in a tiny school in central Arkansas. I don't remember much about her because my family lived there only a short time. But I clearly remember riding my bike to her house for a tea party with her dolls. I remember we took turns pushing each other on the swings at recess and that we shared our crayons. I remember collecting colorful fall leaves with her, then pressing them between sheets of wax paper. I remember us giggling at a lady with blue hair on the train we took to the next city for a field trip. I don't remember Mary Ann's face, but I do remember her smile. I hope she is still smiling!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fALs7890ZiI/WYDgnHgb85I/AAAAAAAABw0/zDLsP2EbPksXq8UKv1X4mDZZs51_9rMwQCLcBGAs/s1600/BeFunky%2BCollage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fALs7890ZiI/WYDgnHgb85I/AAAAAAAABw0/zDLsP2EbPksXq8UKv1X4mDZZs51_9rMwQCLcBGAs/s320/BeFunky%2BCollage.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> It's crucial for women to have girlfriends. My girlfriends range in age from their early 20’s to their late 80’s! I devote a lot of time to women's friendships in the Sunday School classes and conferences that I lead. Why? Because while men friends and lovers are wonderful, there are some things only a woman understands. There are some conversations, some situations, even some secrets that can only be shared with another woman. It's important that the woman, or women, with whom you share these things understands your heart and mind. It's also important that whatever you share goes straight into the friendship vault- a vault to which only the two of you have the combination. </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> Healthy, nurturing, trustworthy friendships don't happen willy-nilly. Like anything else that's important to have, you must work at it. Here are four ways to cultivate and grow those friendships.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> *1. <b>Initiate.</b> If you want a friend, be a friend. In the Bible, God said it isn't good for us to live alone. That verse is usually associated with marriage, but a lot of really smart scholars say it's a deeper verse that indicates God's understanding of our need for association and relationship in areas outside of marriage. Initiate that relationship! <i>Reach out to someone new.</i> Change where you sit in church or at social gatherings. Join a book or supper club. Keep your eyes and heart open for opportunities to initiate conversation. Sometimes we must take our eyes off dead center to really see the wonderful people and friendship opportunities around us.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> Once you've spotted a potential friend, smile and make eye contact. Introduce yourself. Make a phone call. Send a card. Once you're introduced, get moving! Invite them to lunch. Broke? Invite them for a walk in the park. Too hot? Invite them for a walk through the mall. Busy? Make a quick call or send a card. Stop with the excuses, already, and just do it.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> In established friendships, <i>reintroduce yourself.</i> You may know each other, but do you really "know" each other? How often do you let loose, let go, and really open up? When we do that, walls come down and we grow closer, initiating binding ties that can't be broken by time or circumstances. One of my favorite games to play is the “random fact” game. Does she like Jiffy or Skippy peanut butter? Most embarrassing moment? Most exciting moment? First kiss? Last kiss? Bucket list of travel spots? Most unusual thing about her that no one would ever guess? It’s fun and it can spark a conversation that leads to a deeper understanding of each other and a deeper love for each other. Try it.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> 2. <b>Communicate.</b> It's true that we can have girlfriends we don't see for weeks, months, or years, and still pick up right where we left off. But it's so much better to keep the conversation going. And technology has made that much easier! How do you keep the talk-flow moving and keep it meaningful and not just a lot of chatter? Find time to be alone-together where there are no distractions, just conversation. Make an "appointment" with your girlfriends. You schedule time for your boss, dentist and nail technician. Schedule time with the women who lift you up! </span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> Remember, <i>communicating does not always mean running your mouth</i>. A big part of communicating is listening. When you do that, you hear a lot of things---some of them "unspoken." Also, be consistent in your communication. For relationships to thrive and grow, communication should be frequent. Be as open as possible, sharing concerns as well as celebrations. But be very aware of the friendship vault! These no holds barred conversations must be kept confidential. No gossip, no speculation, no pressing for more information than she is prepared to give, and no judgment. If she asks for your advice then by all means, give it--- in love. If she doesn't, then zip it. And hug her. And tell her you love her and are there for her.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> 3. <b>Associate.</b> It's not enough to initiate a relationship or even to communicate within that relationship. We must take active, consistent steps to associate with our girlfriends if those friendships are to grow, and become strong and sustaining. And don't wait to be asked. Be proactive. Reach out. Spend time together. Move beyond the one-hour lunch on Wednesday. Go to a movie together, or to a museum, or an art show. Go to the park and feed the ducks. Ride bikes to your favorite breakfast joint. Walk your dogs together. Go to the farmer’s market. Walk the beach and look for seashells. The time for these activities doesn't just fall out of the sky. You'll have to work with each other in scheduling issues. Everybody's busy, but if we want something badly enough, we find time for it. Make the time. You'll be glad you did.</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"> 4. <b>Habituate.</b> It's sometimes easier to begin a friendship than it is to sustain it. You take steps 1, 2, and 3 but then life gets in the way. The days and the weeks wear on you with their responsibilities, crises, activities and NOISE. You may lose your enthusiasm and discipline for initiating, communicating, and associating. One way to overcome that is to create the habit of consciously, daily, making an effort to create routines that encourage you to reach out and reach back to your girlfriends. If you need to put "Call my bud" on your daily or weekly to-do list, then do it, until it becomes a habit! Tape her picture to your laptop screen or refrigerator door. Anything that will remind you that despite the busyness of life, your friendship is important. It's important enough to invest your time. The payoff will be priceless!</span><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;">*This is an excerpt from Drexel's women's bible study "Soul Sisters."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.5pt; line-height: 150%;">© 2017 Drexel Gilbert Enterprises</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-87973998123124606382017-06-24T15:06:00.001-07:002017-06-24T15:33:22.674-07:00Vacation-YayCation! 5 Steps to a Happy Family Summer Vacation<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-opeeNZYUN2M/WU7hCj7lmnI/AAAAAAAABo8/GT6u1e2lYOEbG9vrGZ0VtxK27EyYt0nAgCLcBGAs/s1600/vacation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="350" data-original-width="333" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-opeeNZYUN2M/WU7hCj7lmnI/AAAAAAAABo8/GT6u1e2lYOEbG9vrGZ0VtxK27EyYt0nAgCLcBGAs/s320/vacation.jpg" width="304" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> "I love it," the dad said with a laugh as he walked past me on Main Street in Walt Disney</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">World. "We've only been here an hour and I'm already fussing at the kids!" He hugged his wife and they both giggled.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This particular dad was obviously joking around. But traveling with young children can be no laughing matter! Over-the-top excitement, fatigue, hunger, and heat can propel the kids into CrankyLand and cause parents to say, "Now, remind me again why we decided to do this?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> On the other hand, summer vacations can provide parents and children with excellent opportunities for creating happy memories and for strengthening relationships. Here are five ways to turn your family vacation into a Yay-Cation that you will remember fondly for years to come.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i> Feed your faces. </i></b>Be sure everyone eats breakfast. Don't let </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the rush to pack, load and check the list "just one more time" distract you from eating at least a light breakfast (looking at you, Mom.)</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You need fuel for the day. Not only does a healthy breakfast kick-start your metabolism, studies show it improves your mood! Include protein, dairy and/or whole grains. Hungry kids are cranky kids, so munch on high protein snacks during the day. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Staying hydrated can give you more energy and regulate body temperature. Hot kids=hot mess. Drink water.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>Slow down.</i></b> Don't overpack your daily agenda. Your kids may want to be the first ones in and the last ones out, but remember the "eyes are bigger than the stomach" saying. If you spend the day racing from points a to z, you will just "see" things instead of experience them. A slower pace encourages conversation with the kids. It's better to do less and do it well. Take leisurely water and bathroom breaks. Stop on the road or the trail for a picnic lunch. Sit by the lake and feed the ducks. The idea is to create memories instead of a timetable.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>Embrace your inner child. </i></b>We are so used to adulting, it's hard to let go on vacation. Just do it. Cannonball into the pool, throw water balloons on the beach, build a sandcastle, ride the darn rollercoaster for crying out loud, wear a cowboy hat, do the line dance, buy the t-shirt, eat the ice cream, conquer the water slide, take silly selfies with the kids. You can go back to adulting on Monday. For now---let loose! Your kids will never forget the fun that they, and you, had!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>Conduct a daily debriefing. </i></b>Everybody get together at the end of the day, after bathtime and before bedtime to talk about the day. What worked? What didn't? What was each one's favorite part of the day? What's the funniest thing that happened? What do you want to do again? DOCUMENT. Record the debriefing on your smartphone or video camera. These are moments you will never be able to recapture. Let the kids lead the conversation. They will always remember it! And they will love you for letting them take the lead.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>Sleep</i></b>. It's tempting at night to Just.Keep.Going. Resist. If everybody sleeps (looking at you, Mom) everybody stands a better chance of waking up refreshed, happy, and ready to tackle the next day. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Here's to YayCation! Safe travels!</span><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-50287977171780009812017-06-20T08:53:00.002-07:002017-06-20T17:23:49.658-07:00Relationships Ain't For Sissies <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I was scanning through the channels on my car radio when a sad song about a breakup came on. "Nobody Wins" laments the loss of a relationship and, with apologies to Brenda </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Lee, there's nothing really remarkable about the lyrics. With the exception of one line. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i> "The loving is easy, it's the living that's hard."</i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Truth.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> To misquote Bette Davis, "Relationships ain't for sissies." Too many of us enter into relationships believing those sappy sayings such as "all you need is love, "love conquers all," and "love means never having to say you're sorry."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I hate to be blunt, but.... bull.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Love, real love, is not just about the feelings. Don't get me wrong! Those feelings are great! They make you go all gooey on the inside when you see your honey and they touch you in just that right spot on the back of your neck. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But, feelings come and go. The fairy dust (as one of my girlfriends calls it) can fly away at a moment's notice in the face of a disagreement, financial difficulty, acts of mistrust, or just the daily responsibilities of life. That's when "it's the living that's hard." And that's when the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">act </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">of love, not just the </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">feeling </i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">of love, can make or break the relationship.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> What do you do when the living is hard? Here are five suggestions:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>*If you are married, remember your wedding vows</i></b>. You know the ones: "for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others be faithful only unto you." Made you all mushy the day you promised those things. But, they can be hard to live out. When the living is hard, perhaps you and your spouse can repeat your vows to each other. If that's uncomfortable, write them out and say them aloud to yourself. Remember why you said them on that very important day. Ask yourself, "what is the one thing I can do today to act out my vows, regardless of my feelings?"</span><br />
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<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xfOp42sSXUU/WUlCXC5fURI/AAAAAAAABoE/t9tXeRSqdCUgiOG4IpEHCyrGCpB-YL3oQCLcBGAs/s1600/love_story_poster_60k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><img border="0" data-original-height="426" data-original-width="400" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xfOp42sSXUU/WUlCXC5fURI/AAAAAAAABoE/t9tXeRSqdCUgiOG4IpEHCyrGCpB-YL3oQCLcBGAs/s320/love_story_poster_60k.jpg" width="300" /></span></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>*Say "I'm sorry."</i></b> I adore the movie "Love Story." I cry every time Jenny tells Oliver "love means never having to say you're sorry." Then, I wipe my eyes, blow my nose, look at the screen and say "baloney!" We all do and say hurtful things to the people we love, sometimes intentionally and sometimes not. Saying "I'm sorry" is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. It demonstrates your depth of character and your commitment to making the relationship work. Warning: Be sure you MEAN IT when you say those important two words. Saying them, but not living them, will spur mistrust and resentmen</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>*Talk it out.</i></b><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The "silent treatment" is a popular maneuver in too many relationships. Silence may be golden in church or the library, but in a relationship it's worthless. Learn how to talk through your issues in a calm, logical way. Perhaps each of you could take a piece of paper, write down three things that are bothering you, then take turns talking about them. Did you catch that? TAKE TURNS. It's a conversation not a lecture. Time yourselves if necessary. Acknowledge the other person's feelings and words. You don't have to agree with them, but try to see their perspective and find common ground.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i>*Never go to bed without kissing your mate.</i></b>Someone told me one time of a couple in their 80's who'd never gone to bed without a kiss. The husband said sometimes the bed would be shaking because of the anger of the moment. But in the light of day, they found the desire, will, and strength to make amends and move the relationship forward. BTW, kissing burns calories. So, go "work out." It will make your body and your relationship healthier!</span><br />
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5zlKHYMhM3A/WUlDaIEVE7I/AAAAAAAABoM/f2tAL9dJpUcvJtseHQGr-oRXveWCXDxowCLcBGAs/s1600/Pillar%2BCandle.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="382" data-original-width="344" height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5zlKHYMhM3A/WUlDaIEVE7I/AAAAAAAABoM/f2tAL9dJpUcvJtseHQGr-oRXveWCXDxowCLcBGAs/s200/Pillar%2BCandle.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> *<b><i>Bring back romance</i></b>. Take steps to overcome the disagreements and difficulties that </span><span style="font-size: medium;">threaten your "fairy </span>dust." Decide to infuse some romance into your relationship. Go for a long walk or a drive. Hold hands. Dance in the kitchen. Kiss your partner when they walk out the door in the morning--- not a peck on the lips, but a hot-and-bothered can't-wait-til-you-get-home kiss. Rub your partner's feet when they get home. Go on a picnic. Take a bubble bath. Light candles and play love songs from your courtship. The idea is to WORK at your relationship</span>.<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Brenda Lee had it right. Sometimes, "the loving is easy.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It's the living that's hard." But nothing worth having comes easily. </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Or so I've heard. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*For more ideas on how to bring romance back to your relationship, check out</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">www.drexelgilbert.com.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://mkt.com/drexel-gilbert-enterprises-inc/" target="_blank">"30 Days to Better Love"</a> </span><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-57600830102195714352017-05-30T08:07:00.001-07:002017-05-30T09:24:34.009-07:00Pick Up a Flower- Pick Up the Romance<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gk0zE1awQZw/WS2Iz4XVA0I/AAAAAAAABnM/f4j7hRiB9U8iQgKzhhnhOeph4m-Z1koAgCLcB/s1600/hibiscus%2Bfor%2Bblog%2B%2528800x533%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="533" data-original-width="800" height="213" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gk0zE1awQZw/WS2Iz4XVA0I/AAAAAAAABnM/f4j7hRiB9U8iQgKzhhnhOeph4m-Z1koAgCLcB/s320/hibiscus%2Bfor%2Bblog%2B%2528800x533%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> It's National Water a Flower Day. I don't make things like this up. I just share them. I have a brown thumb. Kill every plant that is courageous enough to venture into my home or flower bed. Growing flowers? Don't like to do it. Receiving flowers? That's another story. Which leads to today's entry. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> In the grocery store last week, a nice looking 30-something man got in line behind me. I glanced at him. He had a newspaper, a bottle of wine, and a bouquet of flowers. I smiled and said, "Smart man!" He blushed (yes, he did)) and smiled back. I asked him to go ahead of me. "Any guy who takes flowers home to his sweetie deserves to be at the head of the line!" The cashier and two ladies behind us began to clap.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Men who want to spice up their relationship can go a long way in that department by giving flowers. In my relationship book, "30 Days to Better Love," Day 1 addresses why men should give her flowers and what will probably happen if he does. I'll tell you more in this short video. Watch it. Then water your relationship by giving her flowers. You never know what might bloom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Click here to watch: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izblTK-zLnA" target="_blank">30 Days to Better Love- Day 1</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Leave a comment below and you will be entered in a drawing for a free bouquet of roses! Hurry! Drawing to take place June 5, 2017!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">P.S. There's a whole lot of guys (and gals) who are feeling a whole lot of romance because of the book. You can invest in your relationship by buying the book. Find it here: </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.drexelgilbert.com/relationship-books/" target="_blank">Buy 30 Days to Better Love: A Guide for Men</a></span><br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-64980812181726275782017-05-29T13:33:00.001-07:002017-05-30T17:09:12.424-07:00JFK's Birthday-Jackie's Legacy: 5 Parenting Lessons Inspired by a First Lady<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> John F. Kennedy would have been 100 years old May 29. He was the 35<sup>th</sup> President of the United States. He did a lot of smart things during his political career. But, that’s not what this is about. This is about what may be the smartest thing John F. Kennedy did in his personal life. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> He married Jackie.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Why was that a smart move? Not because Jackie was smart, beautiful, graceful and cultured. Indeed, she was all of those things and more. But what I find most admirable about the former first lady is that she was a good mother. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Jackie Kennedy once told a reporter something that became my mantra as a mom. She said, “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much.” Jackie Kennedy set the bar high. And from all accounts, she was at the top of that bar.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Was she perfect? Surely not. Did she “bungle” a few things along the way? Surely so. But on the 100<sup>th</sup> anniversary of her famous husband’s birth, her quote can both and inspire and challenge parents of today to remember the importance of loving, teaching, guiding, restraining, and yes--- correcting--- our children.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Somehow--- with the grace of God--- I managed to raise two little girls who are exceptional young women making a difference in the world. Was I a perfect mom? Certainly not. Did I bungle things along the way? Absolutely. But I learned a lot along that way. I’m not Jackie Kennedy, but here are a few things I’ve learned about parenting through the years.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> *<b><i>Love your children unconditionally.</i></b> Love them when they make A’s. Love them when they C’s. Love them when they smile. Love them when they sneer. Love them when they walk in the door and give you a hug. Love them when they slam the door and give you the cold shoulder. Love them when they do what you want them to do. Love them when they do what they want to do. Love is not about approval. Love is about LOVE. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Children need a safe place to be themselves. That means they need a safe place to be happy, sad, sweet, snippy, generous, stingy, loving and even loathing. Love them in spite of themselves. This will help them grow into confident, emotionally healthy, loving human beings. It will serve them well in their own adult relationships. HAVING SAID THIS, PLEASE NOTE! This does not mean letting your children run over you and anyone else in their path. That is not "love!" </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">To truly love your child, you must also-</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i> *Discipline your children.</i></b> GASP! I know that goes against much of today’s common thought. I don’t care. I’m right on this one, people. I’ve seen so many children who are undisciplined and allowed free rein to do and say whatever they please. The result? Their parents are unhappy. Anyone around them is unhappy. Frankly, the children are unhappy. A very wise friend of mine in the child care industry once told me, “Children want boundaries. They want to be told “no” every now and then.” Really? Really. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Now, by discipline, I do not mean physical violence against the child. If you are doing that- STOP IT. Discipline means teaching children about proper behavior. It means holding them accountable for improper behavior. It means teaching them how to apologize and mean it. It means having them earn privileges instead of teaching them to expect them. It means teaching them how to be good losers as well as good winners. It means expecting the best of them and not tolerating the worst from them. It means guiding them and teaching them how to live and thrive in society. It’s your job. Do it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><i> *Spend time with your children</i></b>. It’s a busy world. We wake up at O’dark-thirty and hit the floor running. We run all day and into the night with jobs, errands, housework, yard work, greetings, meetings, and competing. Chatting with a talkative toddler or a testy teenager may not be what you FEEL like doing. Do it anyway. When you shut out everything else, sit down, look your child in the eye and really listen to what they are saying, you communicate their value. Their value to you and to the world. You tell them that what they are saying and feeling is of worth. You build their confidence and inspire them to be better at what they do. On that note:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> *<b><i>Encourage them</i></b>. I don’t know what tickles your child’s fancy. Maybe it’s soccer, or baseball, or football, or art, or reading, or writing, or singing, or cheerleading, or dancing. When they find their passion, do everything you can to encourage it. I might have been dog tired from a long day at work in the television newsroom, but when my little dancer daughters wanted to show me their latest ballet or jazz moves, I put on the music, turned down the soup on the stove, sat on the couch and watched them. For as long as it took. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <b><i> *Learn to say "no." </i></b> This may offend some of you, but, oh well. Parents who give their children every little thing they ask for, even before they know what to do with it, are doing those children no favors. What ever happened to working for it? Saving for it? Waiting for it? I see 8-year-olds watching PG-13 movies, 6th graders being chauffeured to "prom" in a limo, 16-year-old being given brand new cars, but no curfew to go along with it. Appropriate boundaries are good for children. They teach your children how to function in the adult world when the time comes. Who cares if "everybody else is doing it?" You are not "everybody else's" parent.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> And remember that "parent" is the key word. You are not your child's best friend. You are their mother. Or their father. You are the adult. And when you guide them with love, encouragement, discipline, time, and restraint--- you will help them become adults with purpose, passion, and principles.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*For more on the life of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, visit https://www.jfklibrary.org/JFK/Life-of-Jacqueline-B-Kennedy.aspx</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-83902869673719358682017-05-26T04:24:00.001-07:002017-05-26T04:34:32.375-07:00Sometimes You Just Need to Bake a Pan of Cornbread<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> We are rushing headlong to the end of May. May is a month of transitions. School lets out for summer. Kids move from one grade to the next. Older ones graduate high school. Some come home from college for the summer, with truckloads of dirty laundry and stomachs that never fill up! Some graduate from college and move away. Sometimes far, far away. Daughters prepare to become June brides. Sons practice their garter-flinging skills as they prepare to become grooms. Snowbirds head north for the summer. Families pack up for the beach or the mountains. Spring ends. Hurricane season begins. May is the month that heralds change.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> And that’s not a bad thing.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> June brings opportunities. New projects to start. New people to meet. New places to go. New lives to begin. But, in the midst of all the change, we sometimes have a momentary longing for “what was.” We wonder how our kids grew up so quickly. How they moved from snaggle-toothed kindergartners to sophisticated college grads, or movers-and-shakers in their chosen career. We marvel at, and at the same time struggle with, rapidly advancing technology. We are so happy that we are out of the “diaper phase,” but are anxious about entering the “driver’s license phase.” We don’t fear change, but we have a soft-spot for the way things used to be.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> How do you handle that longing? With scrapbooks or videos of days gone by? By visiting childhood friends, or cranking up “your music” on Pandora radio? Maybe it’s by cooking and eating your comfort food. That’s what I do. And my food is cornbread. Homemade. With buttermilk. Like my mama makes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> It didn’t matter what we were celebrating or commiserating in our house when I was</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> growing up. Homemade buttermilk cornbread was always on the table. Its accessories ranged from black-eyed peas to chicken and dumplings, to turnip greens or meatloaf. If I was sick, my mama made cornbread. If I won an award, my mama made cornbread. If I’d had a rough day at school, my mama made cornbread. If I needed a little lovin’ after being scolded for a mischievous act, my mama made cornbread. If I was happy for no reason at all, my mama made cornbread.</span><br />
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> This May has been a month of transitions for me. My youngest graduated college and moved away. Kinda far, far away. I put my house on the market. I jettisoned a lot of “things” in the process. All good, positive changes… but change nonetheless. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I don’t want to go back to the past. I love my present! I love where my adult children are, and the difference they are making in the world. I’m all about embracing change and looking for something new to do, read, eat or cook every single day! Maybe you are the same way. But sometimes, after a rapid succession of transitions, you just need to indulge in the familiar. For just a little bit. Sometimes you just need a smidgen of the old days to give you the fortification to reach out to the new ones. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Sometimes, you just need to bake a pan of cornbread. And eat it. Y’all </span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman, serif;"></span></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2221890471754649816.post-13916381490743715532017-03-03T08:22:00.000-08:002017-03-03T08:23:20.852-08:00Choices<br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I did NOT want to get out of bed. I’d pulled a 24-hour study and writing shift before finally putting head to pillow at midnight the night before. I stared at that hateful old clock, which was blinking <b><i>5:00! 5:00! 5:00!</i></b> at me. I had a choice. I could hit snooze and roll back over for more sleep, or I could be strong and roll out of bed and into the day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I rolled out not because I am strong, but because I’d made a promise the day before on Ash Wednesday. Ash Wednesday is the beginning of the season of Lent, a time of reflection, repentance, and renewal leading up to Easter. For Christians who observe Lent, it’s traditional to fast from something during this 6-week period. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://drexelgilbert.blogspot.com/2012/02/tis-season.html" target="_blank">For more on Lent and non-traditional ways to observe it, click here.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> My take on fasting for Lent is that if I “give up” something:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It needs to be something that is important to me in order for it to be a sacrifice.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It needs to have purpose. Does God really care if I give up Krispy Kreme doughnuts for 6 weeks? I don't think so, but He does care about WHY I would choose to give them up and HOW it's supposed to impact my relationship with Him. And that means--</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The space that's left by what I "do without" needs to be filled with something that enriches my spiritual life and relationship with God.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> For years, the thing I’ve cherished most (other than family) is my time. There’s so little of it. It goes so fast. And, it’s our only non-renewable resource. So, during Lent, I “give up” that very thing. I sacrifice an hour of time every day and fill that hour up with God, through study, prayer, and church.</span><br />
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<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UvOpLLp39AE/WLmXd82YXyI/AAAAAAAABj0/2snU4P7BPHYKa6ra6FM2Xq_lewmhKtL2wCLcB/s1600/IMG_4262.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UvOpLLp39AE/WLmXd82YXyI/AAAAAAAABj0/2snU4P7BPHYKa6ra6FM2Xq_lewmhKtL2wCLcB/s200/IMG_4262.JPG" width="150" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> On this first morning after Ash Wednesday, I’d marked my calendar to attend an early morning </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">church service. I’m Methodist, but it’s hard to find Protestant churches that are open on weekdays. (We should really do something about that.) So, I made my way to a small Catholic church tucked away in a patch of beautiful woods.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> You know, God has a sense of humor. The scriptures were about, of all things, “choices.” You know, like the one I’d made a couple of hours earlier. The priest’s homily talked about “choices.” You know, like the ones we make every day. He talked about how those daily choices can lead us to a day filled with light--- or not. A day filled with joy--- or not. A day filled with peace--- or not. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> After I left the church, I thought a lot about the choices we make every day. Oh, sure. We have big choices to make- whether to take the job or not, whether to buy the car or not, whether to enter into a relationship or not. But we also have “small” choices that we encounter all day every day.</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to gossip or hold our tongue.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to respond IN-KIND to UNKIND words or we can smile and let it go.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to sit numbly in front of the television or we can go for a walk, or read a book, or volunteer in a soup kitchen.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to complain or look for reasons to be grateful.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to criticize or we can compliment.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to keep our eyes glued to our phone or we can turn off the phone and have a real conversation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to buy that dress or give the money we would have spent on it to our church or to a charity.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can choose to eat lunch out every day, or we can brown bag it and give the money we would have spent to a homeless shelter.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can worry or we can pray.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We can try to control everything and everyone, or we can surrender control to the One who is.. well... in control.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> The point is—we have choices every day in our life regardless of the season. They may seem like small choices at the time, but they can have a big impact on they way we live our lives. We hold these choices in our hands. What choices will you make today? You know you'll have to.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Choose wisely.</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0