My eyes flew open. My heart... and my thoughts...began to race. So many things to think about, to worry over, to be anxious for, to plan. I pressed the display light on my cell phone.
1:36 a.m. Great.
My alarm was set for 4:00, in anticipation of an exceptionally busy day. I closed my eyes and tried to will myself back to sleep. But, as one of my former television news co-anchors used to say, "I couldn't BUY sleep!" The last time I looked at the clock, it was 3:50. I blinked, it seemed, and the alarm began to blare.
Like a lot of people I know these days, I've been through many changes this year: Graduated from the first leg of my return to higher education. Saw one daughter become married. Sent another off to college. Worked hard to get a new business on its feet.
It's been intense.
Sometimes, that intensity makes its way into my subconscious and wreaks havoc on my sleep cycle. Somehow, I'm guessing you can relate.
A few days ago, I decided to devote 2 hours a week to stepping away from the fray, and signed onto a women's study at a local church. The study is authored by Angela Thomas and is called
"Brave. Honest Questions Women Ask." The title of the first chapter is what sold me:
"I Am Worn Out."
Lord. Can I get an amen? Seems like a lot of us are tired these days, and much of that fatigue comes from restless nights, tossing and turning as we watch the clock and try to solve all of our problems before the sun comes up. As if.
In today's reading, Ms. Thomas made a statement that jumped right off the pages at me. It was part of her discussion on the need for rest. I've used the same scriptures she quotes in my own talks and writings about God's understanding of our need for rest, and even His directives to do so. Physician, heal thyself! (Or, at least PAY ATTENTION, Drexel!)
The part that lit up like a neon marquee for me had to do with simply closing our eyes and trusting that God is in a much better position than we are to work out our problems. No amount of tossing and turning, or fretting and fussing, can outsmart Him. So, the next time I wake up in the middle of the night, heart and thoughts racing, I'll remember Ms. Thomas's words:
"He can take care of all that I cannot stay awake to worry about."*
I'm looking forward to a good night's sleep tonight. How about you?
*From the book "Brave:Honest Questions Women Ask" by Angela Thomas